Connection or Reconnection?
As the mother of two teens, I have seen our family time dwindle. This really started several years ago. About 7 years ago, we established a family night. It was fabulous. One night a week, we would do something as a family. This activity could be going to the movies, dinner and mini-golf or playing games at home. We have even had a camp out in the living room! Unfortunately, we let that go a few years ago. We let after school activities get in the way. We stopped scheduling it in. I had so many excuses: work schedules, second job, and kids’ activities. We had a hard time doing family night on the weekend because my stepson’s mother was still an active part of his life, so her visitation landed on the weekend.
I saw a decline in togetherness as a whole. It is time to get back to family and date night. Date night is not for Mom and Dad. Date night in our house is: Mom/Son (step) and Daddy/daughter. This was started because we needed time with the opposite sexed child, more specifically I needed time with my step-son alone. When I came into their lives, he and I were the best of friends. When his sister was born, he definitely felt pushed aside. My son and I have done movie/dinner dates. Let me explain the rationale for calling him my son. I do not want to take anything from his mother. He has been in my life for 16 out of his 17 years. He has called me “Mom” for 14 of them. We NEVER told him to call me Mom. He was the one who felt comfortable in doing so. These date nights were great. We got to connect with each child again.
Now that everyone has their own schedule, we have spend a little more time making it fit. My son has a job, my daughter has sports, my husband works swing shift and I have my obligations outside of work, as well. We take a weekly schedule and write it all down, in pencil of course. The night will change every week, but it is something with which we will deal. Now more than ever, it is important to maintain a good relationship with your teens.
I know that the time I am spending "away" from my family now will allow so much more time with them in the near future. I have joined an awesome team and cannot wait to grow with them.
